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03-24-2017, 08:56 PM | #1 |
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Location: Here I am in front of Todd's Grocery in 1931 selling Grit newspapers
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For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Hey Bill!!!! This is you, fur shur!!!!
........................................ An old geezer became bored in retirement and decided to open a medic clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500. If not cured, get back $1,000.” Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $$. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me??” Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.” Dr. Young: Aaagh!! – “This is Gasoline!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.” Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.” Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.” Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t, -- this is gasoline!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500. Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!” Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, Here’s your $1000 back.” Giving him a $10 bill” Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
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"Bullshit and Brilliance Comes with Age and Experience" "Hey Lady, ya wanna buy a Grit?" "If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old" Will Rogers |
03-24-2017, 10:43 PM | #2 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Love it!!
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What's right about America is that although we have a mess of problems, we have great capacity - intellect and resources - to do some thing about them. - Henry Ford II |
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03-24-2017, 10:46 PM | #3 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
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What's right about America is that although we have a mess of problems, we have great capacity - intellect and resources - to do some thing about them. - Henry Ford II |
03-25-2017, 06:10 AM | #4 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Nice!
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03-25-2017, 07:24 AM | #5 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
THANKS, Fellas,
I don't know about you, BUT for me, I use a lots of "humor" to get through lifes' TRAUMAS! Getttin' OLD & worn out is the S**TS. I do a lot of "medical" research & friends call me about their MALADIES, thinkin' I'm a DOCTOR---LOL Folks LAFFED at me for being "plugged" up! BASTARDS! I thought I wuz going to DIE! The PAIN is unbearable, when you can't even get a FART out!!! Bill Laffin'
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"THE ASSISTANT GURU OF STUFF" Last edited by BILL WILLIAMSON; 03-25-2017 at 11:36 AM. |
03-25-2017, 07:52 AM | #6 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
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-Mike Late 31' Ford Model A Tudor, Miss Daisy I don't work on cars --I'm learning about my Model A. Cleveland, Ohio |
03-25-2017, 08:08 AM | #7 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Being the oldest guy in the office, a young feller asked the other day when I was going to RETIRE. Told him I had gotten son old and feeble and I can no longer do the things I wanted to in RETIREMENT so I might as well work till I die.
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03-25-2017, 08:12 AM | #8 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Funniest thing I've read in a month! box #22 huh?
Terry |
03-25-2017, 08:24 AM | #9 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Whut's Box # 22? Maybe BENEFIBER??? My Daughter just sent me a box, label sez, "FOR PEOPLE ON THE GO"--Little packets to carry in your pocket.
It should have said, "FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T GO"--- I thought RELIEF wuz speled, R-O-L-A-I-D-S Bill W.
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"THE ASSISTANT GURU OF STUFF" Last edited by BILL WILLIAMSON; 03-25-2017 at 07:36 PM. |
03-25-2017, 04:19 PM | #10 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Great humor!!!
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03-28-2017, 10:02 PM | #11 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
A lady was getting seated on a train for a trip with her newborn baby. She sat across from a drunk on the train. The drunk glanced over at the lady's baby and exclaimed...Lady, that's the ugliest baby I have ever seen.... The lady being highly offended pulled the emergency cord.... The conductor arrived shortly.. hearing all the commotion and disturbance... He tried to calm the lady by speaking kindly and with compassion...He said... I'm sorry... The railroad will go to any extent to settle differences with our customers...May I suggest you take a seat away from that gentleman and as a small compensation of the railroad...if you will accompany me to the dining car we will give you a free meal...............and maybe we can find a banana for the monkey!
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03-28-2017, 11:02 PM | #12 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
So Bill, did you get a chuckle or two out of my book? (Author pictured at left, 79+ years ago.)
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03-29-2017, 05:47 AM | #13 | |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Quote:
I started it & it disappeared???? "Somebody" in tidying up put it "somewhere"---Gotta' put a LOCK on my OFFICE door!!! Bill W.
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03-29-2017, 02:25 PM | #14 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Hey Bill!!!!! Look on the bright side, don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
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"Bullshit and Brilliance Comes with Age and Experience" "Hey Lady, ya wanna buy a Grit?" "If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old" Will Rogers |
03-29-2017, 03:26 PM | #15 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
That was a timely post. I just got back from the library, where I borrowed "A Treasury of Senior Humor". Looking forward to it....
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03-29-2017, 06:30 PM | #16 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Go find Bill's book. I gave it to him when he last had the poorlies and he will surely let you read it. A bit of humor thrown in along the way.
David K. Mc Arthur http://bit.ly/FromtheShadows Check it out at that site |
03-29-2017, 10:42 PM | #17 |
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Re: For Bill Williamson, not A related, just old fart related
Good Geaser Reading
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