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Old 03-16-2015, 11:44 PM   #1
DougVieyra
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Default This kid sounds like a Model A Driver

A Farm Kid Joins the Marines – A letter from Boot Camp

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell my brothers Walt & Elmer that being in the Marine Corps beats the hell out of working at old man Minch’s farm. And tell them to join up with the Marines quick before all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you had to get up at 6 a.m.
But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer that all you have to do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things.
No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, cows to milk, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay - Practically nothing to do before breakfast. My brothers have got to get to this place fast !
Ofcourse men have to shave every morning, but it is not so bad – they got warm water here. The breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, and such - but there're kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, okra, grits, pie and other regular breakfast food. But tell Walt and Elmer not to worry, they can always sit by the city boys that only live on coffee. With their food, plus yours, you can hold out 'til noon when you get fed again. ( It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much).

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long hikes with heavy packs made to harden us and toughen us up. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. But Ma, a "route march" is about as far as down to our mailbox at home, while carrying two Pork sides to mail to Aunt Abigail.
And when the city guys get sore feet, we all get to ride back to camp in trucks. For FREE !

Our sergeant “Gunnie” is like a school teacher. He nags a lot, but ain’t nearly as harsh, nor as mean as our old school teacher, Mrs. Glover. By the way, Have Walt & Elmer graduated yet ?

This next thing will kill Walt and Elmer with laughter.
I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why - The bulls-eye is nearly as big as a chipmunk’s head; and it don't move none. And it ain't shooting back at you like the Higgett boys back home. All you got to do is lie down, real comfortable like, and hit it the target – it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. You don't even load your cartridges - they come 5 in a bundle stuffed in a little metal box.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't nearly as bad as like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers find out about this setup and come stampeding in to San Diego. Oh, yes - did I tell you about the PAY ! Besides all you can eat, they give you clothes, a real nice place to live - AND they give you money to boot ! AND I got to see a real Doctor for the first time. I tell you, there is no place I would rather be !

Well, Mom & Dad, that’s all for now. Hoping the farm is doing well, May God Bless and Keep you -
Your loving daughter, Alice
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Old 03-16-2015, 11:52 PM   #2
C26Pinelake
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Default Re: This kid sounds like a Model A Driver

My kind of humor. Thanks for posting !
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:21 AM   #3
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Default Re: This kid sounds like a Model A Driver

Love it.
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:46 AM   #4
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Default Re: This kid sounds like a Model A Driver

I have to admit the ending caught me off guard. Very funny and I needed the laugh today.
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Old 03-17-2015, 10:29 AM   #5
DougVieyra
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Default Re: This kid sounds like a Model A Driver

The last two words of the story made me pee my pants when I first read it.
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Old 03-17-2015, 10:33 AM   #6
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Default Re: This kid sounds like a Model A Driver

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Thanks Doug, you made my day!
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