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Old 09-09-2021, 12:11 AM   #1
Brian
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Default This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

A Traffic Cop stops a flathead Harley for traveling faster than the legal
speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence.

"Fred" he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred" the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the
biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.

The officer then presses him for the last name to record on the warning.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'"

The biker replies: "It's a long story, so stay with me.'
was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name.
The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed by myself,
studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older, I realised that I wanted to be a doctor.
I went through college, medical school, internship, residency
and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

Dentistry became my dream!
Got all the way through Dental school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she
gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA (Aust Dental Assoc) found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.
Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD.

Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD,
so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.
Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred."


The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
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Old 09-09-2021, 01:23 AM   #2
ford38v8
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

I think his name used to be Freddie Littleman
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Old 09-09-2021, 02:03 AM   #3
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

Good one.
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Old 09-09-2021, 07:33 AM   #4
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

Thanks for the laugh!
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Old 09-09-2021, 07:46 AM   #5
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

Can't believe I read the whole thing!
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Old 09-09-2021, 08:07 AM   #6
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

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Thanks Brian, that went well with breakfast.
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Old 09-09-2021, 08:23 AM   #7
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

Good one !!! Thanks, Brian
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Old 09-09-2021, 08:40 AM   #8
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

Good one - Here's another Highway Patrol joke.

A old guy always wanted a Corvette, so he bought one. Out on the highway he exhilarated to 70 MPH, and he felt good at that speed and thought he would see how it felt at a higher speed he exhilarated to 80, then 90, and thought wow, this great. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw a blue light coming after him, he pulled over.

The Patrolman said to him, if you can give me a good reason why you were speeding and I have never heard the reason I will give you just a warning, other wise you will
get the full load.

The old man told him, about 5 years ago my wife ran off with a highway patrolman and
I thought you were bring her back.
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Old 09-09-2021, 12:57 PM   #9
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

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Originally Posted by jayvee34 View Post
Good one - Here's another Highway Patrol joke.

A old guy always wanted a Corvette, so he bought one. Out on the highway he exhilarated to 70 MPH, and he felt good at that speed and thought he would see how it felt at a higher speed he exhilarated to 80, then 90, and thought wow, this great. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw a blue light coming after him, he pulled over.

The Patrolman said to him, if you can give me a good reason why you were speeding and I have never heard the reason I will give you just a warning, other wise you will
get the full load.

The old man told him, about 5 years ago my wife ran off with a highway patrolman and
I thought you were bring her back.

So, the Vette guy felt more-exhilarated every time he accelerated! COOL joke! DD

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Old 09-09-2021, 01:12 PM   #10
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

LOL, giggle, chortle, guffaw......
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Old 09-09-2021, 09:54 PM   #11
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

when I was in high school my friends last name was Dick & his first was John(rip John). He had a sister whose first name was Dora. No kidding true story.
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Old 09-09-2021, 10:07 PM   #12
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

Me too. Only mine were "Chuck" and "Diane".

They did not get near as much shit as another guy, John "Jack" Hoff.

i guess parents back in those days were really clueless.
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Old 09-10-2021, 01:11 AM   #13
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

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Me too. Only mine were "Chuck" and "Diane".

They did not get near as much shit as another guy, John "Jack" Hoff.

i guess parents back in those days were really clueless.

No ......Kids could just be MEAN little a-holes. And they're really sorry TODAY! DD

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Old 09-10-2021, 11:19 AM   #14
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

Back when I fist got to working with helicopters, I started at a company that was a service center for Hughes Helicopters. As a service center, we had to handle warranty claims on new helicopters. As it turned out, the head of the warranty claims department was named Richard Head and I had to work with him for both warranty and component overhaul situations. Nobody and I mean NOBODY ever called him Dick (at least not to his face anyway). He was a good man and was very helpful. He stayed with the company through it's changes of name and models for many many years till he got cancer. I kind of miss the old guy but I never envied his name. I always wondered what his parents were thinking.
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Old 09-11-2021, 09:45 AM   #15
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

There is a Sherriff in next county over his name is Richard Swinging.
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Old 09-11-2021, 04:31 PM   #16
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
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Old 09-11-2021, 06:27 PM   #17
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

I built a set of kitchen cabinets for a man named Dick Tuck. A friend of mine said it sounds like a surgical procedure. Man, we are heading downhill.....
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Old 09-12-2021, 01:27 AM   #18
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Default Re: This is a joke; don't read it if you've no humour

A state trooper pulls over a priest. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
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