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One of my long friends is Hugh. He was the government pesticides inspector in the region I worked. Hugh had everything under control without making a wave or even a ripple. I wouldn’t think Hugh ever had a dispute in his entire working life. He often responds to my stories and I have copied and pasted an email I received only today.

Dear Gary
A couple of memoirs ago you waxed lyrical about our rural citizenry. I agree with you 100%!
My first exposure to rural Australia began in 1980 when I moved to the Riverina. I enjoyed the rural ag “industry” and the fantastic people who empower it.

After 25 years experience in the bush, learned something profound about two particular species. (1) Dogs, and (2) women.
One of my roles was to go on farms where produce was discovered to contain high levels of pesticide. (These problems were Discovered through random tests in Sydney fruit and vegetable markets and abbatoirs).
Before visiting the farm, I’d call to notify the farmer of the unfavourable results and to let him know I’d come and see him and find out why his produce was dodgy.
These were the days of no GPS, so many properties had simple addresses like “ Weowna via Coonamble.” In order to locate the farm, I had pen and paper next to the phone to write detailed instructions and directions to locate the property in question.
Upon arrival the first species to greet me was the dog or dogs. If the dog/s wagged tails and wanted to jump up and lick my face, this was a reliable indication that the farmer would be nice to deal with and friendly. If they growled, bared their fangs and threatened me, this indicted the visit would be difficult. I established this reliable “dog” principle over 25 years of going on farms.
I also learned about women. Sometimes I received verbal directions over the phone to locate the property from the farmers wife or a female resident. I took copious notes, but usually got lost when a lady had given me verbal directions.
My most hopeless example of getting lost was trying to find a rural resident in the hills behind Coffs Harbour. A lady was complaining about a helicopter spraying fungicide on her neighbor’s bananas. By that time, I had a car phone, and recalled the lady 5 times to find her place.
I’m not sexist. I’m not against women. I have one at home and I reckon every bloke needs one. Mine is good value in every respect (or in most respects), but like her gender I’m suspicious when she gives me verbal directions to locate an address. I resort to my GPS to Verify her instructions.
Once again, this principle of females giving directions was established over 25 years. I didn’t arrive at this conclusion quickly.
To quote the famous English poet and author Hannah Cowley, she wrote “What is woman? Only one of nature’s agreeable blunders.”
Happy blogging Gary. Hugh